The Decision

The Letter of Intent hung on my refrigerator for nearly a month, a daily reminder that I had a decision to make: stay for another year at Saipan Community School or move on? Not an easy decision to make and one that caused a lot of inner turmoil. I love teaching 4th grade and I love SCS. And living on a tropical island is kind of nice too. But I felt my heart was pulling me home. I struggled many days and nights trying to make up my mind. I prayed a lot. I asked others to pray for me as well. There were no signs written in the sky or on the wall telling me what to do. Rather the answer came as simple and as quiet as a verse I read in the Bible. On the eve before I was to submit my Letter of Intent to the principal, I sat on my bed surrounded by yellow 3 x 5 index cards with Bible verses written on them. "Why are you troubled? Why do you have doubts?..." Luke 24:38. "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24b. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24. But the verse that I kept focusing on was Isaiah 41:13, "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear, I will help you." I fell asleep holding that yellow 3 x 5 index card in my hand. No answer came, no decision was made, but rest was given. Something my body and my mind needed. I slept peacefully. I awoke before the alarm went off, something I rarely ever do. It was then that I knew what I had to do. I would not renew my contract with SCS. I am going home.

Now that the decision has been made to leave Saipan, I face an unknown future. But I am not afraid. God said he would help me. I believe it.