What Do I Do?

Do you ever feel like your life is consumed by your work?  That's how I feel some days about my job. I'm always busy doing something connected with school.  Don't get me wrong.  I love teaching 4th grade very much.   I love almost everything about it....planning lessons, preparing those lessons, teaching those lessons, and even grading.  Okay, I'm not too keen on the grading part, but everything else I really enjoy doing.  That's why I do it.  

However, there are times when I feel like school is all I do.  And some days I just want something else.  Something not associated with school or teaching.  Sometimes I just want to go out and have a nice evening with someone.  I want a man to notice me and say, "Um, I want to ask her out."  I want a little romance in my life.  The absence of it leaves me feeling, well, empty inside.  I guess that is why I get busy with school.  Keeping busy kind of helps me not think so much about how lonely I feel.  Kind of, but not really.  The empty feeling never really goes away, no matter how busy I let myself get.   Not only do I feel empty, but I also feel heartbroken.  When men don't notice you, you feel unattractive, undesirable, unwanted, worthless.

I know I am not worthless.  It's just a feeling, not a fact.  But I can't help feeling this way.   I cannot deny that God has provided in other ways.  I have a job that I love.  My students like me.  I have a wonderful family and great friends.   I don't take any of this for granted.  I am so grateful for everything.    It's just hard, that's all.  

A friend recently encouraged me to check out eHarmony as a possible avenue for meeting men. Of course I have heard about this and I am a little curious, I suppose.  But, I just don't want to meet someone through a computer.  I want it to be random, a chance meeting somewhere, and in person.  Am I too old fashioned?  

My birthday is coming up soon....June 14th.  I wish I would have a date for my birthday.  Wouldn't that be nice?   

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